The Adult They Need: Attachment, Regulation and the Courage to Keep Going

The child who kicks, spits and tells you they hate you is often the child who trusts you most. Children who’ve learned that adults leave save their hardest moments for the people they feel safe with, which is why school, and the adults in it, so often get the worst of it. This session helps the whole team see that behaviour as survival rather than sabotage, and respond in ways that show a child you’re still there. It covers how to be the predictable, boring in a good way adult a frightened child can count on, and what to say and do in the first sixty seconds when it all kicks off. It also covers how to come back after a rupture, and how colleagues can hold each other up, with small things that make it possible to keep going.

• Why behaviour that challenges us is almost always survival, not sabotage
• How attachment shows up differently at different ages
• How to stay calm on the outside when a child is at their most frightened
• What to say and do in the first sixty seconds when things are escalating 
• How to repair after a hard moment, so the child learns relationships can mend
• How small acts of team support help adults keep turning up